So, one of the most exhausting things about having cancer so far (and there are many exhausting things about having cancer) is having to answer all of the questions that people have. To that end, please find the following handy resource guide to everything you want to know that I don’t have the energy to tell you:
- I have bilateral invasive lobular breast cancer. And because having cancer in not one, but both breasts isn’t good enough, I have it in a lymph node as well. I have always been an overachiever!
- What stage, you ask? Because that is typically everyone’s follow up question. Well guess what? They don’t tell you that until after a bunch more tests* and possibly not even until after surgery, so it might be a while before I can answer that question because:
- My treatment plan* is chemo first, followed by surgery and then likely radiation and hormone therapy. Yes, they are throwing everything but the kitchen sink at me! Go big or go home, right?!
- It’s going to be a long haul*. If we are talking 6 months of chemo, followed by 4 weeks recovery, followed by surgery, followed by 6 weeks recovery, followed by 3-4 weeks of radiation… well, that’s a lot!
Typically the next question is, “How are you doing?” Ummm, how do you think I’m doing?! Sometimes I’m in pain, sometimes my energy levels are super low, sometimes I’m stressed and anxious, sometimes I’m just fine.
What can I do?/How can I help?
- Don’t just talk to me/ask me questions about cancer. Believe me, it’s on my mind enough without having to talk about it all the time. Feel free to let me know how much you think it sucks and if I want to talk more, I will. But otherwise, let’s talk about the weather, work, the trip you just took, my garden, the latest episode of the Bachelorette, what a great movie Yesterday was, climate change, politics, there are so many options!!! And it’s ok to talk about the crappy things in your life, too, but only if you feel like talking about them.
- If you’re a praying person, pray! I’ll take all that I can get. Pray that I can sleep at night and that my anxiety and stress go away. Pray that the side effects of chemo are minimal so that I can keep living a relatively normal life, which includes still working (my choice so I really don’t care what you think). Pray that the chemo significantly reduces the size of my tumours and gets rid of the lymph node tumour entirely. Pray for my family and the close friends who form my main support network. This is happening to them too, which is stressful. And they are putting their own lives on hold to care for me.
- If you feel the need to do things, stay tuned! There will definitely be lots of opportunity to do that. I hate to cook and will happily welcome any and all donations of meals and/or baked goods. Feel free to recommend podcasts or books to download. I know that as treatment progresses, I will need people to hang out with or to run errands for me, etc. My amazing sister, Carla, will be your go-to for all of that so watch this space.
*Edited to add that, in light of my updated diagnosis, the course and length of treatment is now completely different, so feel free to ignore those bits, or see them as a record of what is now what I wish were happening.
C is for Colleen 